Why Don't You Have Any Friends?

Feeling friendless is more common than you think, but it’s an issue with plenty of different causes. Let us help shed a little more light on your case.

It’s understandable if you’ve observed a dearth in the number of people whom you consider as actual friends.

The hard truth is that friendships aren’t something a person is entitled to, and making friends in the first place can be an extremely fickle thing, with common interests and circumstance playing a common role.

For this assessment, we have to look both inward and outward – because we can’t control how other people treat you, but you can find out where you can improve, and maybe learn to treat yourself differently and for the better.

Stuck and troubled about why you don’t have more friends? How can you be better at befriending people? Answer this social life questionnaire to gain some insight!

⬇ Scroll Down & Take The Quiz ⬇

Why Do I Have No Friends?

You’ve often received comments that you’re…

Shy

Lazy

Aloof

Intimidating

Bossy

Which of these disappoints you most often?

Myself

Social events, or specifically parties

People in general

Friends not checking in or contacting me first

The competence of others

Which of these quotes applies best to someone when they become your close friend?

“If nobody got me, I know you got me.”

“Without you the world turns to grey.”

“There’s no battle I can’t win when I’m with you.”

“You tolerate me! You really, really tolerate me!”

“What can I say except you’re welcome?”

When you’re talking to a stranger, you tend to…

…slouch and look at the ground

…rush the conversation to walk away

…eye them with close scrutiny

…cross my arms

…talk louder than them

Have you made more friends online than in real life?

Can I really tell if the people I meet online consider me a friend?

Definitely. The Internet can bridge more like-minded people together

I say there’s an even mix

No. I know more people IRL

If you were “brutally honest” with yourself, you’d say you’re…

“Unmotivated”

“Mistrusting of others”

“Rude’

“Narcissistic”

… We might be here for a while.

Have you a told a secret another person has confided to you?

No. That would just bring down my reputation even more

No. I don’t have the energy to be a traitor

Hell no! I’d be so pissed off if it happened to me

No. It’s nobody’s business

I’m not ashamed to say yes; it was a strategic choice

Are you comfortable being alone by yourself for an extended period of time?

Of course. It’d… actually feel more right

Sure. I’m used to that anyway. Plenty to do by myself

Yep. Gotta be self-sufficient

Not really, no. No man is an island

Absolutely not… I can’t bear being contained like that!

What do you think you lack the most?

A reason to be proud of myself

Familiarity with the outside world

Faith in the goodness of others

People being intimidated by me

Patience for stupidity

What would be one thing you’re unsatisfied about your current social circle?

Myself. I feel like I don’t deserve the friends I already have

I find it exhausting to actually go somewhere and meet new friends

I don’t find it worthwhile to let more people in

Just how small or undeveloped it is

The sheer number of fake friends and sycophants

Which reason for not smiling at others applies to you the best?

I’m not that confident with my smiles

I might look like a creep

I don’t trust smiles and am always looking out for fakes

It’s just not my usual expression in public

I only smile if they only do something that truly pleases me

How often do you leave your home?

Regularly

Only for groceries, school or important events

Often but only for business

I’m always going somewhere

What’s the main reason you can’t confide your feelings to someone close?

I don’t want to repel or scare them away

I think nobody knows me well enough to care

I feel like I’d be making myself too vulnerable

I don’t want to be a burden to them

I can’t let them get the upper hand on me

How self-conscious are you with your physical appearance?

A lot. I don’t feel comfy in my own skin

Quite a bit; I’m not used to dressing nicely

Fairly. I’m interested in looking good

Somewhat, but I’m not aiming to please anyone

Extremely so. I dress to impress

How often do you initiate get-togethers or hangouts?

Sometimes

Never

Very infrequently

Rarely

Often

How competitive are you?

Barely. I don’t think I can match the level of motivated people

Not that much. Life’s too stressful as it is

Somewhat so. Mostly to ensure I’m not be left behind

Quite a bit, but I’m not comparing my progress to anyone’s

I don’t aim to one-up people, but I simply do!

Which of these annoys you the most?

When the phone screen turns black for a moment and I see my reflection

Being invited on an impromptu trip

People who think they can make decisions on my behalf

Strangers making small talk

Being ignored or snubbed on purpose

How do you see your best friend? (Yes, even if you don’t currently have one)

The one who always hypes me up

My refuge in the storm

My fellow warrior in this warzone we call "living"

The only soul who stuck with me through the worst

They’re my best rival (whom I’ll eventually beat)

Why Don’t I Have Any Friends?

You don’t like yourself enough

Liking yourself is more important than you think, because—surprise, surprise: people have to know what to like about you to be your friend, and that’s much harder if you can’t love yourself first. Please accept a bit of advice and be kinder to yourself. List down at least five traits you have which you can consider “likable” and don’t be humble about it. Be conscious about the good you can offer other people and get better at it! Be your own best friend first. Accepting who you are—while also giving consideration and respect to others—will inevitably attract like-minded folks.

You need to get out more

This one’s a no-brainer. You can’t make friends if you’re not making yourself known! This can apply to both IRL and online! Be a part of a community; if you find yourself inept at social interactions, or struggle to connect with someone, mingling and continually putting your best foot forward is the way to ultimately get better. Naturally, you will have to leave your comfort zone, but this is part of the process. You will find good people on the other side, and with effort and patience, they’ll be a new comfort zone for you by themselves!

You lack trust in other people

Any meaningful interpersonal relationship requires trusting the other party. Even if you see yourself as a lone wolf or one-person army, learning how to earn and give trust to others can benefit you in plenty of unexpected ways. While you are clearly correct in being cautious and vigilant with the world at large, the right people to be your battle buddies or ride-or-dies are out there. To find and earn them, a little trust—just a little trust—is all you need to begin with.

You give a closed-off vibe

Interacting with people is a science on its own. You’re likely aware of this, but if your body language appears guarded, defensive, hostile or simply indifferent when facing someone, it can give off unappealing signals even if you feel an earnest connection with someone. A lot of times, these unfriendly cues are something we’re used to, even as a defense mechanism after having hurtful experiences in the past. However, they’re worth inspecting and replacing with more positive expressions. It’s important not to force yourself to smile or laugh, though. It won’t come naturally to you in an instant, but maybe a little conscious effort to be open and inviting can change how you come across.

You’re domineering

As much as you might value being socially dominant, the people around you require respect, as well as related commodities, such as empathy, privacy, dignity and occasional deference. "Domineering," in this case, can encompass being bossy, arrogant, or dismissive… or even plain narcissism! It’s really a pressing matter for self-assessment; in your drive to look and act strong, you might be alienating yourself from good people who might otherwise be your best allies! You can feel offended, but if you’re here taking quizzes on why friends seem scarce, getting this result is worth a little introspection.

Other Quizzes About Lifestyle

About our "Why Do I Have No Friends" Personality Quiz

The spiel about the world being “more connected than ever before, and people are only becoming lonelier” seems done to death, but it does carry a cogent point.

Is something the matter with people in general that you don’t like? Or could it be an issue with you — and one that can potentially be dealt with?

The answer is likely a combination of both. Getting people to like you can be tricky business, because the onus is ultimately on them. You can’t please everyone… but maybe you can at least sway a few who you deem worthwhile to grow close to?

We here at GoForQuiz like to aim for the hard-hitting questions. They’re the most efficient way to find points for change.

Are you capable of facing yourself in the mirror and asking “why don’t I have any friends?” Can you even bear looking at your reflection at all, or is there an underlying aversion against how you look or act? Can you bear lying to yourself and saying you have plenty of ride-or-dies when you might actually have surrounded yourself with yes men and fair-weather friends?

Whether your results lead you recognize the need to build your social circle or if you still think you’re perfectly fine by your lonesome, we hope this quiz points you toward the direction of self-improvement.

FAQ

What are some common red flags of a fake friend?

Fake friends—people who will abandon you when you’re no longer useful, people who associate with you only for the good times, and so on—can come in many shapes and sizes, but the usual signs of fake-ness to watch out for are:

- Frequently one-upping or diminishing your own achievements
- Dump their emotions on you but don’t return the favour for you
- Being more concerned about their pride or appearance than your dignity
- Only calling or texting when they need you
- Judging you for something they don’t personally like
- Not considering your time or schedule for hangouts
- Holding grudges and refusing to talk them out with you

What is Dunbar’s number?

If you’ve heard a tidbit about how a person can only maintain stable relationships with about 150 people at a time, that’s Dunbar’s number: a little rule-of-thumb on your social availability.

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar also suggested that you can safely consider around 50 people as close enough to all invite to a dinner, 15 as very close friends, and 5 as your inner circle.

Modern research suggests this number is inaccurate, and that you can form relationships (friendships and bonds; not romances, you utter Casanova) with as many as 520 people.